Spencer's First Twelve Days ...

Hi All,

Well, surprise surprise, our little man decided he didn't want to wait until the fall, he wanted a summer birthday instead! Just to give those of you who don't know some history, I was found to have a shortened cervix at week 21 of the pregnancy, for which, in the hopes of strengthening the area, they gave me a cervical stitch. Well, that stitch held up for just over 6 weeks ......

On Friday, August 7th at 4:30am, I woke up feeling crampy - nothing too painful, just a little uncomfortable. The doctor told me that I could expect cramping from the stitch and, though I didn't have a single bit of cramping during those previous 6 weeks, I figured that that must be what I was experiencing. I tried to relax and drift back to sleep. By 6:30am though, the pain was getting more intense, so I woke Drew up and called the hospital - they told me to come on in. Once there, they confirmed that what I was having were indeed contractions, and they proceeded to try to stop them by giving me an IV, tilting my bed so the pressure was off my cervix, even spraying nitroglycerin under my tongue. Nothing was working - the contractions were coming on, fast and furious. They asked if I wanted an epidural - I said no to that, but I didn't say no to the laughing gas! (Not that it helped much for the pain - it still hurt!) The next thing I know, I'm being wheeled to the operating room, as because the baby's head was still quite far up, there was worry the umbilical cord would drop down first, which would put the baby in danger. If that were to happen, I would need an immediate emergency c-section. Thankfully, that's not what happened - I delivered naturally and our little man, Spencer David Parkinson arrived at 11:11am (cool time, eh - it's supposed to have spiritual meaning!), tipping the scales at 2lbs 9oz (1,165 grams). He was born at 27 weeks 3 days gestation. Let me tell you, that o.r. was bustling with doctors and nurses ... all in, Drew counted 16 in there, all with their individual specific job to do! Spencer and I both were very well looked after, right from the start. Just before whisking him away, the doctor put Spencer on my chest and I got to kiss him. From that very moment, I understood the deep love a mother feels for her child. Indeed, it was (and still is every time I look at him!) extremely intense and powerful.

Drew and I slept at the hospital for 3 nights. Spencer was downstairs in the neonatal ward and we could see him as much as we wanted. It was hard those first few days, I won't lie. I cried a lot of the time. I cried because I missed him being inside my belly and feeling him kick. I cried because, even though the doctor told me there was nothing I could have or should have done to prevent the pre-term labour from happening, I still felt an overwhelming feeling of guilt ("should I have walked up those stairs?" "could I have rested more?"). I cried because it wasn't fair - I don't smoke or drink, I exercise and eat well, was taking a maternal vitamin every single day, am only 32 years old and am all-around healthy .. why did this happen!? I cried because I was jealous of all the mothers I could hear on the maternity ward around me who had their babies in their rooms with them, ready to be taken home. Then of course, there was everything that was going on around Spencer - seeing our precious little baby attached to so many tubes and monitors was gut-wrenching.

Though it's very natural, parents with babies born to term take for granted their ability to hold, cuddle and kiss their little one whenever they want to. Parents of preemies are the polar opposite - nothing at all is taken for granted! For the first week, the most Drew and I could do was touch Spencer or let him grasp our finger. He had a "belly line" in for the first nine days, which, through his belly button, allows the doctors and nurses to draw blood for blood tests and feed him through IV. With this belly line, holding him was out because if it gets jarred, infection can set in. Of course, once we heard the reason was to prevent an infection from happening, we fully understood, but making do with only touching him and not being able to hold him was tough - something a "term parent" would (luckily) know nothing about. The other thing we could do that first week was wait until 8pm (this is the time all the babies in the ward get weighed) and be able to kiss him as he's on the scale. Being able to do that made my day - I got so excited when 8pm rolled around! Imagine, getting super excited just for the opportunity of giving your baby a kiss - it's crazy!

As for his progress, the doctors and nurses are very pleased. They say he's doing extremely well for a baby born at his gestational age. Just this morning (Aug 19), he reached what they call "full feeds", which means he now only gets breast milk rather than the combination of breast milk and IV fluids. We're so proud of him, as we're told that many babies take 5+ weeks to reach full feeds. As for his weight, he's mere grams away from his original birth weight - we figure he should be back to it by the 14 day mark forsure. His lowest weight from the post-birth loss was 2lbs 2oz.

Now, if he can only get his breathing down pat ... he started out very well on this front, lasting 5 days on the "CPAP", which is where he breathes on his own and only has the CPAP as a back-up, just in case he forgets to take a breath from time to time. What happens with these little preemies though is that after a few days, their little lungs get tired from working so hard. They start having spells of apnea, at which point the doctors know they need a rest from the CPAP. That's exactly what happened with Spencer - though we're told that 5 days of CPAP at the start is very good. So for now, he's on the ventilator so to give his lungs a rest. Once he's ready, he'll go back on the CPAP. Though apnea spells are scary when they happen (I've been there for two now), they are completely normal for these little babies. Their systems need time to mature and develop. He'll get there, it'll just take time. (**Update - when we got there today, day 12, he was back on CPAP! We're hoping he'll be on it to stay, though we've been told that these little guys often go back and forth, back and forth .. we'll see how Spencer does. "You can do it, little buddy!"**)

The other two things that are of note are that he's been put under the jaundice lights twice (not a huge thing) and, because of the fact they were (at the start) taking blood from him 2x per day, his blood volume got low, so they needed to get it back up to where it needed to be. He needed 16mL of blood returned into his little body. That was tough - though again, we're told that most babies don't get away from needing this done - the amount of blood that's needed for testing compared to the amount of blood they have in their little bodies is outweighed. All part of the process.

The GREAT news is that, now that his belly line is out, we get to hold him now!! Last night, both Drew and I did what they call "skin to skin", which is where we hold him on our bare chest. It's supposed to be great for the baby, who can hear your heartbeat, feel your warmth and smell your scent. Sounds kind of animalistic, doesn't it, but let me tell you - it was absolutely amazing. Drew and I held him for about 45 minutes each and loved every second of it. He fell right asleep. Aside from it being the best part of my week, I was quite surprised at how tiny he felt in my arms. I've held countless babies in my life with the tons and tons of babysitting I've done over the years, my niece and nephews, friends' kids, etc ... but never have I held one who was 2 1/2 pounds. Definitely a different experience! It's interesting to think though that never again will he be this small - in a week's time, then two weeks, then a month .. each day, he's getting bigger and bigger, stronger and stronger.

The ride of a premature baby's early life is a roller coaster, they say. Thankfully, we've steered clear of any infection so far, but we're told that not many babies escape without getting one, so we're trying to mentally prepare ourselves for that (though of course we're hoping that Spencer will be the exception to the rule!) We've also been told to treat this time as a "marathon, not a sprint" - every parent is told that their baby will be there until around their due date (for Spencer, this will be November 3rd) and those who get to go before are lucky. We'll see where Spencer fits in - time will tell! The start has been very good with not too many hiccups - we're hoping this will continue and that Spencer will be one of the lucky ones who gets to go home before his due date! The doctor did say he anticipates that he will ... time will tell.

I hope you've enjoyed Part 1 of our blog ... the next one won't be quite so long - sorry about that! We plan to update it once a week, so please check back to find out where we're at. In the meantime, please send positive thoughts our way for our little guy to keep going strong!

Lots of Love,

Tara & Drew xoxo